Chuck Norris Beware

If you want to see hundreds of people performing a choreographed dance to music sung by a beautiful female and a male in their mid-forties with an exquisitely well-groomed mustache, then Bollywood is right up your alley. Musical lovers eat your heart out.  You think Hollywood is known for their formulaic movie making, you got another thing coming. Bollywood is so notorious for their formulas for making movies; they make Hollywood look like original, well-written Independent movies. These formulas include and are pretty much limited to three to four hour movies having very famous Indian lead male and female character love interests, who sing and dance along with several other choreographed dancers, contain a lot of non-violent action and always end happily ever after.

The Bollwood phenomenon, which is primarily produced in the city of Mumbai, India, is responsible for over 800 movies a year. That is double the number of feature films in America. The Bollywood film production center is a government owned studio in Northern India called “film city.” The majority of Bollywood films are produced in Mumbai but are made in other cities in India as well, just like movies made in America come out of other cities besides Hollywood. Because the cost to see one of these movies in India is between 1-3 US dollars, the equivalent of the average Indian’s day’s wage, only 1.4 percent of Indians go to see the movies. That miniscule 1.4 percent of the population, is still around 14 million Indians going to see movies. The Bollywood movie stars are very famous in India and can make close to a million dollars for one of their films.

I have been blessed with the opportunity of visiting India on multiple occasions and while there, was able to see many Bollywood films that were shown on practically every other channel. It didn’t take long for me to notice the formulas that were so commonly prevalent in every Bollywood movie that I saw.  It didn’t matter whether the movie was new or old; the formulas remained constant in each one. The only difference I noticed was in the newer films. The characters were dressed in western, and when I say western, I don’t mean country western, I am referring to European and American style of clothes instead of wearing classical Indian clothing.  Other than their clothing, every movie I watched had a lead male and female character who were either in love or the male was pursuing the female, sang and did a choreographed dance with several other dancers and had a happy ending. It was quite comical at first watching these formulas in every movie I watched. Especially seeing the reoccurring male Indian version of a George Clooney (with a mustache) in several of the movies. I say George Clooney because in the older films, the male lead character was usually in his forties and 99.9 percent of the time had a mustache that would make Chuck Norris jealous.

To be honest, I am a little bit disappointed with these simple formulas in Bollywood used to entertain the escape seeking movie viewer. I wish that Bollywood would start creating movies that portray real life in India, instead of constantly creating some sort of fantastical escape from reality. One of my favorite movies filmed in India that was a brilliant depiction of life in India was “Slumdog Millionaire.” This movie really captured the essence of life in India, at least the point of view that I had from visiting several cities and being on a train for thirteen hours.  I realize that this movie was acquired and funded by Hollywood, but wish that Bollywood would make some movies more like “Slumdog Millionaire.”